Territorial pissing

If you think this post is about Nirvana - well, you're wrong. That's not saying that I'm not ever going to write about one of the most enduring bands of the past 25 years; after all they did leave a mark on me in one way or another and I WILL write about that some time in the future. This post IS about leaving a mark though; and I'm not talking about the impression that we leave on the people that we meet throughout life, or about giving your girlfriend bruises and a black eye, and scratch marks on your boyfriend - I'm talking about marking territories. Like how dogs do.




Now, I assume you know why a dog does this right? Well if you're the sort of person that never gave a rat's ass about dogs because you think that every dog out on the street just wants to chase you down and bite you; dogs urinate on objects to mark their territory. Specifically, he is trying to communicate to other dogs who happened to pick up his scent that: "I am going to fuck every single bitch that happens to be in the vicinity of this tree/lamp-post/car tire/homeless person that I just pissed on - and if you have a problem with that - then it's gonna have to be me and you, perro-a-perro". Well apparently, humans do this as well; though it is more prevalent among the male of the species. There are many ways a guy can go about it. Some are subtle, and some are loud; and I mean artillery-barrage loud. In essence, it's all about communication.





Listen. I'm not gonna list down every single thing that a guy can do to communicate his possession over women; that would be asking for too much of your already limited, short attention span. Face it, you'd rather be watching a youtube video than read all this crap, right? Well, I apologize if I am wrong; but this is my blog. I don't want to write any more than I have to. At this point, it's totally appropriate if you would ask me if there is a point to all the bullshit I just wrote. Well, there is. I set out to write on how territorial pissing has evolved in this super-connected world that we live in; and there is no better example for that than Facebook.

Here's the deal. Facebook is just one huge fucking party where every one's invited. Social situations play out in Facebook as they would in real life. That means, a guy could potentially become jealous and possessive when he sees other guys commenting on a sexy picture of his girlfriend; because giving out comments to that same Facebook photo is pretty much the equivalent of commenting on his girlfriend in a real life situation, which does make some guys a bit jealous (or proud if he's slightly perverted). Worse, those same bunch of guys could already be staring at or worse, pleasuring themselves (fapping, as some would call it) to that same photo. It's magnified a million times when the girlfriend actually responds to those comments in a flirty manner; and usually, most guys who do get jealous fuck things up by retorting in a douche-baggy way and make fools of themselves. Shit. Bear in mind that the tables could be turned and a girl under the same situation could very well end up being labeled a bitch by her fellow girls. I'm just saying.




What I am really trying to convey is, if your significant other (assuming you enjoy having exclusive relationships) that's on Facebook (this time, assuming you guys are the type of couples who play out their relationships on Facebook) is not the type who would jealously retort to comments made to an especially attractive photo of yourself; pat yourselves on the back because you've managed to snag someone that's not the possessive type.

Now don't even get me started with couples who do all this shit to each other. Their problem is: A. they've managed to have gotten themselves stuck in a toxic relationship; or B. they let their relationship play out too much on Facebook - which is not the real world.

I've exhausted the mood to continue writing and besides, I have a sudden urge to take a piss.